Good News?

Just under two weeks ago, as I stated last Monday, I found out that a personal trainer wouldn’t work with me because she was afraid I would have a heart attack while working with her. This is because I have chest pain when I work out, sometimes, and have elevated blood pressure.

I went to my doctor this past week to get permission to work out. The first thing she said is that she has never had anyone asking for permission to work out like this. Yes I had borderline high blood pressure, but working out would help that. The chest pain is concerning, but since it goes away while I am exercising, she agrees with me that it is just my back pain radiating through my chest. Internal nerves are nonspecific. Meaning that just because my chest hurts doesn’t mean that is where the true pain is coming from. This is good news.

However, she doesn’t feel that she should say everything is alright if I am asking, and a personal trainer is asking. So, she ran an EKG which came back with few minor blips. She has also requested that I start taking blood pressure medicine, see a cardiologist, and possibly get a special stress test because menopausal women often show a false result.

I can keep on doing what I have been doing. So, I am hiking and climbing hills, I am using the elliptical, and I am keeping busy at home.

I take this seriously. It might be nothing, but we want to know. Just a year ago, my cousin who is two months younger than me was in the hospital for a major heart attack. This is something I don’t want to risk. I want to live, and I mean live, well into my 90s. That means to think about what I am doing and how I am doing now. I need to pay attention and start taking care of myself better.

First in 2020

Well here we are in a new decade. My first post in awhile and in 2020. I find that I go periods of inactivity and want to apologize for it. Then I try to make up for it by committing to a period of mass writing. That is not working for me at the moment, apparently.

After talking with writing friends, I have decided that I have been a bit overloaded in my life. I was taking a mental break without even being aware of it. I just checked out of my normal activities. I quit writing everything. So, now I want to get back into writing and other challenging things slowly. I want to do this right so that I can keep at it. I hope to be writing weekly as well as hiking weekly. I have started this month/year with two short hikes a week.

I have also joined a gym. The first time in about 10 years. That is right after I got my master’s degree and started working more than I had in many years. What I have come to realize about my job is that it sucks time from me when I need personal time the most. But, I am going to try the gym. However, I also signed up for a free meeting with a personal trainer and discovered that my health isn’t good enough to work with her. I have to get my doctor to approve the new level of activity.

How has it gotten so bad? A lot of sitting for work and mental tiredness that begs for food to stay awake. A tiredness that drains every desire from me. But like every spring semester, I see a light at the end of the tunnel and get excited for the summer. I plan my yard work and my trips. This includes backpacking and family travel. With that in mind, I have to work out more in order to be able to do any of this. So, I am taking back my life. I am not going to give in to my slump anymore. I am going to be proactive and think of myself.

My husband is 20 years older than me, and when we got married, I told him that he had to live at least until he was 90. I think he will make it, and that is after he has had open heart surgery. But now I think he is healthier than I am. I have to think of my health so that I can live until he is at least 90. To do this, I am going to make that dreaded appointment with my doctor and reschedule with the personal trainer. I am going to go to the gym, and I am going to hike. And, I will continue to find things to do daily that make me happy instead of just work and waste time on the computer eating my life away.

This is not a New Year’s resolution. This is something that has been coming because of the things that I always want to do in the summer. I am going to get ready before the summer is here and I have to uncomfortably push through my trips. What is your life looking like for the near future?

26) Pet Peeves: Day 62.2

My pet peeves come from stupid things people do. I hate it when people destroy things needlessly. That is graffiti, vandalism, and even personal destruction. I don’t like to see broken things around or destroyed/marked up things. I hate it when there is litter and trash scattered across the country side or even on the streets. We can keep this world clean if we cleaned up after ourselves. If our trash can gets knocked over, we can pick up everything that fell out instead of letting the wind and animals scatter it around. If we drop something, and we realize it, we can pick that thing up. We can clean our space even if our neighbors don’t. Monuments, signs, and walls are not there to be marked up or broken apart either. We can leave things nice for other people to enjoy. There is nothing enjoyable about broken things.

Thanks for letting me state my peeves. It seems that everywhere I go lately something is marring the experience because of stupid actions.

25) What is my spirit animal?: Day 61.2

I never really thought of what my spirit animal may be. I feel that I can relate to or find precious things about many animals. So for the fun of it and the purpose of the blog, I decided to take a couple of quizzes on Pinterest. The honey badger came form BuzzFeed and the turtle came from SpiritAnimal. I really like what they both have to say about the animal and personality.

You get your way, no matter what, because you’re the toughest animal out there. Other people might have feelings, but they don’t concern you in the slightest because you are IN CHARGE. Everyone better bow. You’re the HBIC (Head Badger in Charge).

You‘re The Turtle

Turtle Spirit Animal

What It Means To Be The Turtle

The turtle totem wisdom teaches us about walking our path in peace and sticking to it with determination and serenity.

Slow moving on earth, yet also incredibly fast and agile in water, those who have the turtle as totem or spirit animal may be encouraged to take a break in their busy lives and look around or within themselves for more grounded, long-lasting solutions.

24) My first Hollywood crush: Day 61.2

My first Hollywood crush was Kevin Bacon. When I saw him in Footloose and the Flatliners, I thought he was so hot. And I loved the characters. My best friend and I went to every movie of his at the local theater. We talked about him, and she gave me a button that said, “I love Kevin.” During that time, my dad took me to a car museum, as he usually did, that was called the Bacon Museum. I was so excited. What if the guy who owned the museum was Kevin? I kept looking all around the museum looking for clues of Kevin, never finding one. But we did meet the owner, and he looked like an older Kevin. I convinced myself that we had gone to Kevin Bacon’s father’s car museum.

23) Piercings/tattoos: Day 60.5.2

I have two pairs of ear piercings. I was 16 when my brother bought my first pair of earrings, with my mother’s permission. So when I went to his place to visit, my cousin took me to get my ears pierced. We called my mother to get permission. After the piercing, I didn’t touch my ears at all. I didn’t want to irritate them but didn’t know that they needed to be twisted. Several hours later my cousin took me into the bathroom and drenched cotton balls in rubbing alcohol to clean them. That is when she found out that I had left them alone. So dribbling the alcohol down my ear and neck, she started turning the first one. Being warm and hungry, smelling the rubbing alcohol, I quickly found myself on the floor with my brother standing over me and hearing my cousin laughing in the background. Needless to say, my next set went much easier because I kept turning them all day long. But when I got home, my mother accused me of going behind her back and planning all of this and asking for forgiveness, not permission.  Thirty years later, and it is still an issue.

I have no tattoos. When I was in high school, the thing was for girls to get roses tattooed on their shoulders. I loved roses and wanted one, but I never wanted to part with my money or deal with my parents. So, time went on, and I never got one. Now thirty years later, two of our four kids have tattoos. My husband wasn’t very happy with them, and the saying became that if I wanted a divorce, all I had to do was to get a tattoo. Now I have found one I would like to get with my daughter. She is ready any day, but again, I don’t want to deal with my husband about it. The tattoo would be a tiny rose along the edge of one ear; my daughter wants hers on a finger.  Some day…

22) Three Personality Traits I’m Proud Of: Day 59.2

I have been in a bad habit of cutting myself down; usually only seeing my bad traits. This negative self talk is not healthy, and so, I have tried to change that about myself. I try to smile at myself in my mirror in the mornings and be grateful. But that has nothing to do with looking at the positives of myself. This prompt is helpful in that. I have to take a look at myself and see what I like.

Today, I am proud of my perseverance.  Even though much of what I set out to do gets waylaid by my sidetracked mind, I do find ways to get back and finish. It might take me longer than expected to finish something, but it will get finished.

I am proud to be a loyal friend. It takes a lot for me to turn on someone. Once we are friends, I am there for you and will not turn my back on you. I will not dump a friend for a newer one who comes along. I will try to find ways to fit everyone into my life and stand up for those who need it.

I am proud that I can see things on the brighter side. I am usually positive and upbeat even when a lot of things seem to be going wrong. I will be miserable for a short time, then bounce back and find my happiness and the light in the world.

21) My Guilty Pleasure: Day 58.2

I have had my share of guilty pleasures over the years. Food has been among the top of them, primarily gooey chocolate. But other things have been guilty pleasures as well. I used to love watching my husband work when we were just dating. He had a grace about how he worked on an engine or manhandled a truck transmition. Some of my guilty pleasures have faded over the years too.

Right now, I would say that my guilty pleasures are eating or drinking something creamy, smooth, and chocolaty and reading a good book in a hot bath.  I have always loved reading, but would feel guilty doing it when I could be doing something productive. Maybe that is why the bath seems right. I am soaking in a hot hug and reading something that engages my mind.

20) Earliest childhood memory: Day 57.2

I have many little snippets of memory from when I was between two and four. That is a time when we lived in southern California. It was a location very different from my present location, where I grew up, in many ways. But it is a dream that stands out as a complete full memory of my early years. Sometime when I was young, I dreamed that we were being attacked by bees, and when they stung they left holes in us. The only safe place was to climb on top of the picnic table that my grandfather made. It was in the southern California yard. I could picture it well. There was the block fence that separated the yard from my dad’s junkyard, our swing set, the play house, a large tree, and grass. I would run from the house and jump off the steps to get to the picnic table as quickly as possible. I had this dream many times over the years, and it’s probably why I was so afraid of bees.

19) A confession: Day 56.5.2

I have been thinking and thinking and I haven’t come up with a confession for the challenge. I have very personal confessions to make, but they will never appear here.

I know that many people make a confession like a personal statement. But, I can’t come up with one of those either.

It is you get what you get. I am pretty open, so I don’t have a lot to confess.

I do make bold unsupported statements when talking with others without really thinking things through. I don’t even truly believe the statement before I make it, but it comes tumbling out of my mouth. I often have to remind myself that I only know a person or event as I have witnessed it or them. The rest is not supported. Yet, I continue to make these stupid statements. It is like my mouth has a mind of its own and it enjoys making a fool of myself.