In high school, I started missing meals and binging. There always seemed to be more interesting things for us to do than eat lunch. When I got home, I would be famished and binge on anything I could get my hands on.
When I started working, I got donuts that were leftover from the morning break. I would devour these and the candy I bought myself on the way to work. At home, I would eat more than my brother. I just couldn’t get enough at night.
Later, when I started dating, my boyfriend would take me to lunch every day. I would eat everything on my plate because I didn’t want to waste the food. Then I’d snack my way through work.
I knew what the diets were because some of my friends were on them, but I never dieted myself. I knew that I didn’t’ need one. But I also feared that if I kept acting like I could eat anything and stay thin I would put on the weight. I thought more about balance and nutrition. I judged my eating more.