I have been trying to not diet and to eat better to be healthier.  I don’t want a quick fix that will fade; I want change and lasting results.  That requires me to honor my body. To honor my body, I refuse to fall victim to all the dieting and weight loss schemes.  I am going to be as big or small as my body will allow.

To get to the healthy eating, I remind myself how I feel when I eat fruits and vegetables compared to when I eat junk.  I feel like junk when I eat it. But that doesn’t always work.  Sometimes I just want the junk or that is all that is available where I am and when I need something to eat. I can make the best choices possible though. I know what is healthy or at least healthier than other things.  I know how to eat right.  Unfortunately, somewhere along the way my healthy eating got derailed, and I started making poor choices.  Everything that my parents wouldn’t allow became the only things I wanted, and it continued.  The more I tried to control my eating, the more my eating controlled me.

It is a vicious cycle that I have gotten into.  That is why I am trying to go with the flow and allow my body to tell me what and when to eat.  Sometimes I cannot hear my body because my brain is ever powerful and dictates loudly.  I had a good weekend staying busy getting a lot of canning and baking done to use the fruit I had going bad and sewing on projects I need completed for Christmas. All the time, I didn’t snack but once around 4pm.  I ate very well for my meals.  My mind was distracted and not focused on all the food that I could have been eating or on what I will buy when I get a chance.  Tonight, though, I am looking through Pinterest and Facebook trying to get ideas on what to write, and I start the never ending meal.  I had a good dinner but afterwards the chips and salsa came out, then the cookies, and finally the candy. I’m not hungry, but I am not content to just use the computer to look at things.

How do I change this action? I guess to pay attention to what and why I grab what I do. Also to really notice that I am not hungry and to stop myself before it stops or to stop myself when it starts.  Just because I got something out of the pantry doesn’t mean that I must eat it.  I can return it later.  Just because I am eating poorly doesn’t mean that I must continue. I can also fill up on water.  Water doesn’t taste good after eating some foods, so I have to drink it before I eat that particular food.  So why not just start drinking water before I eat.  I would be full faster and less likely to grab that next thing.

To honor self is to love self. Today, I love me as I am.  My shape does not matter as long as I am healthy and can do what I want and need to do. To honor myself, I need to remember that when I eat junk, I feel like junk.