Letdown: Day 63

The family left today.  We got up, had breakfast out, visited with my parents, and they packed up and left. We didn’t have time for a quick hike before breakfast, and when we got back to my house, it was time for them to pack up and go.  It is a bit of a letdown.

We talked about things we hadn’t before and about the next time we would see each other.  There was a lot of last minute stuff happening.  Then they were gone.  The house was quiet. There was nothing I needed to do.  My body went into shutdown mode asking for a nap which I granted it.  Then I thought that I would be productive and start getting ready for work on Monday and cleaning, but I was too sluggish.

There suddenly was no energy for work or even reading.  I spent a lot of time on the computer doing mindless things instead of what I really should have been doing.  Then I would walk into the kitchen to eat something I shouldn’t have eaten.  This is a mental and physical struggle.  I want to be busy, I want to be good.  My body and mind have different agendas for me.  Their agenda is to rest.

I don’t rest well. I feel guilty that I am not doing something.  I should be hiking, cleaning, making something.  So instead of letting myself rest completely, I fill the time with food and junk internet stuff. Instead of being productive, I am procrastinating.  And, I still have my exercising to do today because we didn’t hike.

After I allow myself to rest these next couple of days, I need to be sure that I get back out on the trail and hike.  I cannot allow the weather to stop me for I have already seen that it isn’t all that bad to be hiking in cold or windy weather.

This weekend was our start to a 52 week challenge to go out and hike at least once a week.  I have the start, now I need to continue it like I am the 100 day challenge.

So even though, I am feeling a bit of a letdown, I need to get back out there and get over it.


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