Being that it is November, Thanks Giving season, gratitude is kind of cliché. All over Facebook, there are people participating in gratitude month.  This is a challenge where people post what they are grateful for.  But that is not where I am going with this. I have found through my many attempts to get healthy that there are programs with an aspect of gratitude.  It is where we heal through finding things to be grateful for.

I have kept different kinds of logs and posts throughout the years of what I am grateful for because of these programs and have learned that they really do help. If I can see that I have more positives in my life than negatives, I respond better. I have more ambition and am happier. I treat myself and others better.  Life is just better with gratitude.

Lately, I have been having a difficult time stating what I am thankful for.  I tend to write what I accomplished that day. Yes, that is something positive. But, my life is much bigger than that.  I have a lot of great things going on without my accomplishments.  How come I cannot see that?  I know that I am successful beyond my undertakings.

I think I might have just gotten into a rut, and it is perpetuating itself. I have also been asked by a therapist to list my moods when I eat.  I have found that I am linking my eating to my actions as well.  Somewhere in my life, I have lost touch with my feelings.  This might be why I am having troubles being grateful for those things in life outside of my accomplishments.

I am on an even keel most of the time.  I get angry on occasion, or sad. Happiness doesn’t seem to come along very often.  I am content most of the time, though.  Yoga and physical therapy make me peaceful. And, hiking gives me a bit of a boost – like a runner’s high. This is something I am going to explore for a while.  I hope to get more in touch with my feelings as I try to become healthy because health is a three legged stool – emotional, physical, mental – if one is shorter than the other, the stool tips over.

So today, I am grateful for the time to pursue things that give me enjoyment and a husband who demands nothing of me and wants only to see me happy.  This is enough for a life time, but there are so many other things and people in my life to be thankful for.  Thank you for a place to examine and express my growth.