I have to leave for my surgery check in at 1, so I am trying to get everything done early today. It is a bit different to do all my exercising at once. I spent an hour and a half doing my normal morning exercises, stretches, and yoga. Then I added another 20 minutes of additional weight training to count for my daily exercises.
I had school stuff to take care of and a car to clean out. Then there was the shower with antibacterial soap that left me feeling like I have a film on my skin. I now am writing and then we will be off to see the surgeon.
I am anxious, but now that I have decided to cancel classes for tomorrow, a lot of the stress has lifted. It is amazing how much goes into preparing for a class to be observed by another person and notifying all the right people. It is also stressful to plan on going to class the day after the surgery because I have to figure out how I am going to get there and if I’ll be able to carry my book bag. I know that I don’t come out of anesthesia well, so I should have just planned on cancelling classes weeks ago. But I didn’t want to do that to my students. Now I am paying for my last minute decision. I have been told several times last week to take care of myself first, but that is hard for me to do. I feel I have to be strong and be there for my students.
Although I am anxious, I actually feel good about the outcome of the surgery. I am only slightly concerned with the discomfort for the next day or two, but I have no restrictions. Somehow, I feel that the results are going to come back cancer free. I hope that my feelings are true. But going into this, I am no longer worried about the second biopsy results. They will come when they do, and the results will be what they are. We will decide what to do next after that. But in the meantime, I am going to continue to exercise to the best of my ability and write. Hopefully after this surgery, my mind won’t be so consumed and I can find other things to write about and to learn. I would like to start writing about the things I learn along my path to getting healthy and getting ready for the bigger hikes.