Eating is a big issue in my health. It has caused some illnesses, and it is keeping me from losing weight. I am an emotional eater and a binge eater. I try to control my eating which causes me to binge the “bad” foods. I have tried many things to get my eating under control, but I have found that control is what creates additional problems. In the journey to get to the size I remember being and thought I should be, I have come to dislike myself. This too is damaging because it adds more stress and negative self talk. This backfires taking me down a spiral of controlled eating and binging. Always any weight loss is followed by greater weight gain. I can never do a diet a second time because it doesn’t work the second time. I have tried many diets – the Curves diet, cabbage soup diet, fasting, calorie counting, carb counting, timed dieting, etc. I have also tried tricks – not eating after a certain time, not eating until something happens, not eating more than one sweet a day, etc. No matter what, the results are the same. There is no change.
I was once told that stupidity is doing something over and over again expecting different results. So I am trying something different. I looked at the common denominator and realized that my perspective is skewed and that diets have made it worse. There is no quick fix to where I have gotten. It took me a long time to get to the body shape and size it is now, so I need to expect it to take as long or longer to turn things around. Any long change needs to take time. I have decided to quit dieting and to be mindful about what I do eat. I can no longer sit on the computer or in front of the TV and fill my face. I don’t enjoy that food, and I don’t really know what I’ve eaten when it is done. I will savor the food and not multitask while eating. I am recording what I eat and how I feel.
I hope to see progress over the next few months, but that is all I can ask for. It will be a work in progress, and I cannot expect any more from this.
I had thought of starting other challenges when I started the 100 day challenge. But I realize I was looking for a quick fix because the challenges are short lived. I need to think lifestyle change whenever I approach a change to my eating. It needs to be slow and implemented selectively to make any difference and to stick. As I have said in previous posts, I can quit on changes. So I need to be very conscious in making the selection of what to change. I need to go into it being comfortable with the need and purpose of the change. I need to be convinced that it is an appropriate choice.
Today, mindful eating and giving up dieting is a conscious choice and an appropriate one.